I have spent so long writing this, many months and in them many mornings thinking, adrift in a landscape you always tell me you wish you could see..
There are not enough hours in the day to tell you everything i want to, moments are like the picking of fruit, not everyone is ripe, and i find myself aching to describe it to you as well as just being lost in the need to live it,
I have kissed you in the october rains,
i am kissing you in the rain right now and whilst in the throws of that moment my mind lights up with images , pictures, thoughts , a world in slow motion unfolds on the curve of your lip and im looking at you, feeling the rain on the back of my neck and you the sun on my face, i can hear the rain, the people to but they fade and im thinking of how much i love this and at the same time how magic it is to be here, that i have no idea where im from, that im here in this place that i have watched birds swim in the sky to the backdrop of the new moon over a place called weymouth bay, that im here standing on this rain drop falling with all the other planets, stars , galaxies, dancing in some vast deluge that is pooling at our feet. im captured by the thought that nature has shaped the rain and made me , that you and i are made of water and as you stand before me as the waterfall of all my passions i cant help but think that we are the rain kissing.
I am lying with you and watching the clouds over Poole as summer starts to dawn, its the first time i feel close to you, you look so beautiful, im watching you run the ice and trying to chase you, all i want is you to recognise me, im walking you home in the evening and im holding your hand as we sail the harbour. your biting your lip with a smile, i dont want to let go,
i ask you to come closer, to stand under the cherry blossom with me as im shaking it , and by rousing a thousand flakes of snow, under the light of an evening hanging so fragile, you take those stars from the sky and wear them like an antique wedding dress.
Im watching you run barefoot in the sea, you dont want me to leave , you tell me you love spending time with me, i have carving to do in the morning and its late, we sit by the railings, the moon is high in the east, i can hear the waves curl gently as you write in the sand, i write in Welsh hoping the sea would never swallow the canvas of our night, you run to me and i catch you.
We are sitting in the aisle of the sun, greenhill is waking to the dusk, ive seen our star set a thousand times before but never wanted to watch it with someone so much, I look at you and trace your figure against the reflection of the white cliffs and for a moment i watch you become tangled in the light and the breeze, and you remind me of a picture i kept in the scrapbook of my heart, of a time i watched the sun catch the seeds of flowers blowing gently through the woods of my childhood, i watched them turn golden in the late summer and drift through the branches like a ballet of snow, i think how beautiful you are, that a piece torn from that morning now hangs before me in motion as the wind running wild through your hair.
im thinking of how much i love you, but stay silent.
This is how i see, i see a world of change in which i am the only constant, i think the soul is a vibration, an energy that can never be torn, it is a simple sound by which all the universe breathes.
i wear the reminant of a collapsing star as this body and that cherry red metal which flows through me comes from comets cast about the sky, and i feel it, i feel what i am made of, this though will change, but the inert substance of my soul will not and this point from which i look out to the world, well that wont change, the essence of all that passes before me will be remembered.
i will not change, and i will always see and love the light of a distant sun and what it eventually came to make, a girl who shows me so much, that i found in Weymouth bay.
i love the colours you wear but i know and feel deep down who you are.
let me be open with you, its the only way i know and i must, i am the heart on the travelers sleeve and the book whose pages blow in the wind, i hold a piece of the canvas on which all the stars have painted their light and i am yours if you chance to look at me, deep in the eyes, and feel where you came from,
this gift is for you, a star fallen from the sky, you told me you have never seen one drape the night before, so i found one for you, to hold, take it as a symbol of my love, take it as a love that is raw and untempered, a love that wants you, a love that is new... and enjoy it!!! enjoy the imagination it brings, its story and the distant places it once was a part of, like me and you.
This life is but one breath of many, its words are to be treasured , we exhale , we shout to the distance all we know and listen for the echo that will show us who we are, i know who i am so with that i say this life is short , its form brief but beautiful and i am in awe of it, i must say all i feel, think and need,
life really is to short not to say all the things we know we must.
I am in love with you........ and i need you because i love you......... more and more each day.
