i have allot of raw feeling for her.
i know im not my raw feelings though and that the raw feelings are instead , i think , just the hands of the heart reaching out and touching somthing we cant see,trying to make sense of it all.
for me its what we do with these hands, what we carve from our raw feelings creatively that gives us our emotions, clarity of form and defines a relationship for lovers.

Lifes brilliant at the moment, i like my job , i am getting to know a beautiful girl,although i wish we had more time for each other, i have money ive worked hard for and the driving lessons are booked! things are looking ok, but i want more.

But choices......

ive got some big ones to make soon.

I chose to stay in Weymouth for a girl and said no to France and a new frontier.

For a whole multitude of reasons, the main one being i see somthing in her i dont see or feel anywhere else, ive been shouting out to the horizon all my life and i have the faintest feeling she is the echo of somthing i shared once with the bend in the river, back home, when a child.

and it inspires me, it gives me that shock up my spine, when i see her all i want to do is just know who she,listen, learn, kiss, hold her , laugh and feel free.

Knowing im a very emotional person doesnt mean im not strong though and i dont tell her things like this becuase i know il be thought of as always there, dependable, put up with anything, taken for granted and its not good, i dont want to feel like that because thats when i will get the tools in the bag and go.

im Honest but not weak, my experiences have taught me that.

I cant and i wont let myself fall for her,at the moment i just think it would cause me more pain than freedom,i dont see her often enough for it to feel a freedom, so il hold all that back for some time when perhaps i do see more of her.

god its difficult when all you want, all day everyday is to be with them.

it's all fun and games till someone gets a scotch egg in their eye" - nathan

"you only get out what you put in, so saying that, no one can hold your hand and lead you through life ,youve just gotta go for it."

"dont mistake kindness for weakness"

"you would measure time, the measureless and the immeasurable, you would adjust your conduct and even direct the course of your spirit according to hours and seasons of time.
You would make a stream upon whose bank you would sit and watch it flowing yet the timeless in you is aware of lifes timelessness and knows that yesterday is but todays memory and tomorrow is todays dream.
And that which sings and contemplates in you is still dwelling within the bounds of that first moment which scattered the stars into space."

"we're not here for a long time.... we're here for a good time" - from work

"knowledge is the knife in the jungle of life"
- Dad

"If you who are organized by divine providence for spiritual communication refuse and bury your talent in the earth; even if you should want natural bread - Sorrow and desperation would pursue you through life and after death shame and confusion face to eternity"

- William Blake

"i wanted to send you other things you like, but they said i couldn't post Christal meth, orgasms and violent pornography!" - Basher

"Shakespeare . . . . . . . . . . Shite-speare" - Luke

"im an expert at dating ...... ive read Sun Tzu's art of war" - Bish.

"Vagina like a vandalized bus seat" - green

"Come live with me and be my love, and we will some new pleasures prove, of golden sands, and crystal beaches, with silken lines and silver hooks..."
--John Dunne

"Knowledge propels you into the future, while ignorance keeps you in yesterday"

"She needed some oil of olay on her and a good fucking iron!!!!"

"We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities."

on the road less travelled .... who'd have thought 50 pounds could grow into the life i have now :) and i know the future is going to be amazing.
out to see what my experiences and abilities can show me.
lifes a very personal viewpoint, no one shares it so it must be shared :)
its about being strong, got to live with yourself in the end, so its about the RIGHT choice :) its the only way to find your own personal truth, it is for me anyway.
i have learned that the ambition must be humble but the resolve must be made of iron and life can never defeat us...
only teach us.
im looking for something, this life and its inner monologue is best comunicated through the company i keep and that the horizon will always have a hold of me :)
i cant be caged and i cant settle, the world is to big for my future to be fixed :) and its AMAZING!!!! but i have found somthing special and for this one i have no map! :) and thats what i love about my time spent lost with them. They are beautiful.