But choices......
ive got some big ones to make soon.
I chose to stay in Weymouth for a girl and said no to France and a new frontier.
For a whole multitude of reasons, the main one being i see somthing in her i dont see or feel anywhere else, ive been shouting out to the horizon all my life and i have the faintest feeling she is the echo of somthing i shared once with the bend in the river, back home, when a child.
and it inspires me, it gives me that shock up my spine, when i see her all i want to do is just know who she,listen, learn, kiss, hold her , laugh and feel free.
Knowing im a very emotional person doesnt mean im not strong though and i dont tell her things like this becuase i know il be thought of as always there, dependable, put up with anything, taken for granted and its not good, i dont want to feel like that because thats when i will get the tools in the bag and go.
im Honest but not weak, my experiences have taught me that.
I cant and i wont let myself fall for her,at the moment i just think it would cause me more pain than freedom,i dont see her often enough for it to feel a freedom, so il hold all that back for some time when perhaps i do see more of her.
god its difficult when all you want, all day everyday is to be with them.
